Each one of us are born with all the capacities needed to live fruitfully. We have different mix of skills which are at different levels of development. But many a times, a thought “I am not good enough” comes to our mind. When we are feeling very low and nothing seems to go in right track for us, we tend to get into the mode of self – blame and at times non acceptance of self. We get preoccupied with the thoughts of Resentment, Criticism, and Guilt.
It usually happens, when our thinking gets jeopardized by our negative thought process. Our thoughts play a very important role in shaping our confidence. What we think about ourselves become the truth for us. It is like we create our own situations and give power to it. No person, place and thing can overpower us, only our thoughts can, for we are the only thinkers in our mind. These damaging patterns of thoughts gradually not only creates physical illness in our body like obesity, hypertension, diabetes etc. also develops emotional illness like anxiety, frustration, threatened feeling, rejected etc.
Self- esteem influences our life in innumerable ways. It fluctuates whenever we have success or failures in our personal and professional life. It affects relationships (personal/professional) and mental health. It grows when we find that we are better than others/ person and goes down when we think that another person is better than us and interestingly, it level varies differently in different areas of life. For e.g. we can have high self-esteem in some areas (“I am a good student”) while simultaneously having negative self-esteem in others (“I am not well-liked”).
The thinking pattern that we map creates the thoughts, which shapes our Self- Esteem. The good news is that it is all in our hand, we have the power to manipulate our thoughts. As they are the real culprit behind our high/low Self- Esteem. Let’s be thoughtful about our thoughts by practising these simple techniques:
Don’t believe everything you think. Thoughts are just that thoughts. If you find yourself going on the path of self-criticism, gently note what is happening be curious and remind yourself, that these are thoughts and not facts
2. Change the story
The narrative or story that we have create for ourselves shapes our self-perceptions on which our self-image is based. If we want to change that story that is making us feel low, it is important to understand from where that story/thought came from or received from. The message that we are constantly telling ourselves. For e.g. an automatic negative thought like “I am so restless” gets repeated in your mind so often that you start believing that it is true. So, you now have to change the story by unlearning this thought. It’s very easy.
Pen down this negative thought and covert it into a positive affirmations/ statement, “I am so restless” can be changed into “ I am calm and relaxed” Simply think and change it to what you wish to believe about yourself. Now repeat this affirmation to yourself every day.
3. Avoid falling into the compare and despair Rabbit hole
Practise acceptance and stop comparing yourself to others. Comparisons only lead to negative self-talk which leads to anxiety and stress and a low self- confidence.
4. Channel your Inner Rock Star
We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Everybody is a genius. Remind yourself of the positives that you have. Find the rock star in you.
It is very important to understand that the thoughts we think the words we speak define our present and future. We all create our own experiences by our thinking.
So, it is important to understand this Game of Thoughts. Let’s Start mastering the rules of it.
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