Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit -Khalil Gibran
Shekhar was driving down back from office and was feeling very tired but his mind was in no mood to rest. It was constantly working and a big list of to do list was clouding his mind. All his body wanted was a quick nap and something to feed his appetite. But his mind was completely awake and full of things that he had to finish off tonight. Tomorrow he had a very important meeting which could be a milestone for his career, he was thinking and driving, suddenly the phone rang, and it was his mom calling. It was a routine call at this time, to know about his whereabouts. But today it was different for him as he was lost in his own world and a call and then his mom asking him to bring some groceries on the way, somehow flared his anxious mood and he blatantly shouted on her. At that moment, this small help for the mom appeared a big burden and he talked rudely. This was not once but happening often when he behaved like that. Increasing work pressure and his aspirations rocketing sky high were literally messing up his life and with no realisation they were gradually eroding his personal life too.
Have not this a quiet a common scenario happening once and then with our loved ones. Many a times with no awareness we act in a way that is really disappointing for our loved ones and even for us later. It’s just like that we punch them with our bag of frustration. The impression that “it’s ok” and ‘they will understand my present state’, like, “I am tense, or I am busy, or I am depressed” are they enough reasons to justify unruly behaviour. Is that so? Really not, instead, this mindset starts creating pockets of unhappiness and of distances. The more they understand and the more liberty we get to behave erratically rude and the cycle goes on. Probably it is their unconditional love and respect or any such feeling that let them to handle the mismanaged emotion of ours. Even though it’s not easy for them. Most of times we don’t bother to follow the principle of give and take, we take all emotional, physical, and may be financial help from them but in return give a behaviour that is disappointing and non-adjusting, rather creating an account where the deposit is more of suppressed negative emotions like anger, sadness, worry, insecurity, fear etc. to name a few.
A relationship is an association of two people and just like any partnership both have their own share of part that they must manage to make the relation happy and harmonious. The relation could be with a friend, a parent, spouse or any another. Some of the relations are gifted by God and many of them we make. But to develop those relations into togetherness we need to practice the principle of give and take. The give and take are not about the materialistic transaction, but it is an exchange of love and respect. Admiring and accepting the person for his individuality and thereby the actions performed are reflection of positive feelings that we have for them is the Respect towards that person. Another very basic virtue of happiness in a relationship is an expression of affection for that person i.e., Love. It could be expressed in any form. It is not just about saying it in words, but the language of love has no barrier in its expression. It could be in the form of making the morning cup of tea for that person or giving them a surprise date or a dinner and spending some time with them. A quality time, the time just for them. It could also be in a way of about holding hand or warm hugs and appreciating truly about their support or role in your life. The high regard or adoration could be manifested in any form, it is an individual choice. But the reciprocation of their affection and support is a way to compliment their role in your life is very important. There are very few people who will hold and anchor you back in storms of life, appreciate them and tell them they are the ones. The gems of your life. Value them and make them feel it. They lend their shoulder to step you up in your success. With every new relation formed treasure the older ones more. Don’t hold yourself in giving them their share of love and respect. But surely hold yourself in puking out your emotions that may be hurting or disrespecting. They are like roots that hold you firmly and give a grounding to grow and blossom. Without them your career success could be a personal failure. The choice is yours.
“A person can survive a lot of challenges if only a person learns how to care for somebody else.”
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